I really dont know what to think anymore…

its every little girls dream to grow up, get married and have a family…

but, I suddenly *maybe it’ll pass* dont think I want those things…

I’ve been with my Boyfriend for going on 5 years… November 19th it’ll be 5 years..

but he’s not who I thought he was.. when we moved in together suddenly I became very unhappy in our relationship.. and I feel living together did that to us.

I’ve had a lot of real bad luck in relationships… to the point where I dont even want to look at guys anymore. *not girls either… just not my thing, sorry :P*

recently I’ve found something that I feel like I cant talk to him about that has really really upset me. To where I dont know if its me that needs help.. or him. But I have no way of ‘talking’ about it with him. :/ but this ‘disturbance’ has now got me to where I feel like my ‘protective walls’ have been build sky-high and I just dont want any thing more than for him to be my boyfriend.. .if that kind of. I should be able to talk to him… but I honestly cant. promise. about this issue… its killing me too.

maybe I’m just supposed to be alone. This is just wrong… and I’m quite depressed about the entire thing… I just want to cry and just be left alone… Not like myself at all…

*shrugs* I just have to hold my head high and keep pretending I guess.

?