So I’m in search of something different… I have like 2 or more myspace accounts… that got boring, a facebook, a twitter, something else… ugggh, either way.. I just cant find someone interesting to connect with. I work a lot, so I dont have a lot of free time to go out or stay up late but I dont want to isolate myself from others completely because of that.

A little about me:

I’ve lost a lot of really good friends in my life but I feel like thats okay now… they were in my life for that while for a reason… or maybe they just needed me in theirs then. Either way, I recently lost my best friend to jealousy (on probably both parts) and I’m still and probably never will get over that. He was like the only person I ever felt okay with just being myself. We’ve had a lot of big fights but its been a few months now.. I want to call him and apologize but I’ve done that so many times before and I’m sure he wont accept it this time… so saving myself from looking like a crazy-person, I’m just not going to call.

I work at Summerfield Healthcare in Cloverdale… I started when I was 15 as a kitchen aide, then became a cook… then was really hurt by a close friend there and knew working together would never be the same and quit. I spent about 2 weeks in bed crying about it b/c I loved my job and I loved that person as family and we had been working together for 4 years by then…but so much was stressing me there and I just couldnt bring myself to go back.

after that I moved with my boyfriend to Greenwood with a couple of ‘friends’. Worked at Babies R Us, Toys R Us and Silk scapes… I didnt have much of a life b/c I worked all the time. *you get very little sleep working 3 jobs at once* but I loved it! *looking like a crazy-person now I bet* but I had so much stress in my life at that time that being away from the apartment I was living in with the people I was living with was the best thing I could ask for.

Well, the room-mate thing was intolorable, so without much of a choice… me and Tucker packed our things and moved.

Lots has happened between then but now we are living back in cloverdale, in seculsion b/c I really dont like this town… I loved living in Greenwood.. I love my job at silk scapes the most and I made some VERY good friends there.

Here there isnt much, my friends all were able to go to college..and they did. And the rest of this tiny town is too dramatic. After leaving I also realized that most of the friends I have left here arent even worth my time b/c of the terrible things they’ve dont to me or said about me.. there are so many good people in the world why am I sticking around with some that might make me loose out on the good ones..?

I guess this is long enough for a first post… its crazy b/c this is only my life in the past 2 years… I guess I’m mildly more interesting then what I thought.

I just want someone to talk to that is intelligent. Dear God does anyone else understand and want this too?