September 2009
5 posts
Today
We are going to Terra Haute to get his tires and wheels on his mustang. Hopefully everything works out this time. I finally slept in too :) sooo excited.. but I was up late last night.
My neighbors are being loud today… they were up all night up and down the stairs.. so annoying, but I’m a pretty heavy sleeper.
Laundry day… cleaning day… better get started.
Feeling not like myself..
I really dont know what to think anymore…
its every little girls dream to grow up, get married and have a family…
but, I suddenly *maybe it’ll pass* dont think I want those things…
I’ve been with my Boyfriend for going on 5 years… November 19th it’ll be 5 years..
but he’s not who I thought he was.. when we moved in together suddenly I became very...
Full moon
Things have been really crazy for me lately.. at work, home… just anywhere I go really…. kind of want to blame it on the full moon..I’m really into reading about stuff like ‘how/why things affect people/animals/earth/etc the way it does… but I dont really have much time to do that tonight for the full moon but I’m sure by tomorrow I’ll have soooo much...
Why I blog
When I write something…. it is in my heart and mind. It is a true reflection of what I’m thinking and feeling at the time. Then and there, what you read is what you get… me! I am not one to hide. If I feel it, I write it. I like to focus on the positives. I like to write about the things in my life that make me happy. Love, my family, my friends… things that simply...
Tired
So I dont know what was going on with me but I just wasnt in the best of moods. By the end of the day I was certain that I hated everyone at work today… I just couldnt get a moment to myself, even when I tried locking myself in the restroom.. I wasnt in there a min when someone was knocking… LOOKING FOR ME?!?!
Maybe its the full moon tomorrow or the changing of the seasons that has...
August 2009
27 posts
as soon as I say I’m moving on from you.. you want to talk to me…
FML
Too bad you have to be so cocky though… yuck!!!!!!!!!!!!
hmmmm...
I’ve been feeling kind of strange today.. I was reading through some older messages and posts on other sites and I cant believe what I’ve let go… if that makes any sence… it has me extremly upset and confused but… I’m ready to push past that… I’ve been doing really well so far, I dont need to put myself back to where I was before..
I guess this...
“I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild; when it is quiet and serene;...”
I really.. hate myself most days.
Why cant I just be happy in the relationship I’m in? I’m tired of all these weird feelings I have for other guys… I wish it all would just go away. But once again… I guess I have this feeling like I’m loosing him and so I’m ‘moving on’…. strange to explain. I just want us to be happy. :/
Today everything went wrong since our maintanence guy...
well I got a couch today… its pretty actually… just trying to get use to it I guess..
work was crazy today… I was actually asked if the red facet on a sink was hot and if the blue was cold…. yeah, they were totally serious when they asked me too… how sad is that? :) So glad tomorrow is friday. I really need a break from work…
James actually messaged me...
sneezy
Finally getting a couch tomorrow… :)
Moved the arcade machine to the other side of the apt… looks better there I guess and we might have someone that wants to trade us… he will get the better deal worth-wise… but I’ll be so happy to have this thing out of the apt!!!!!! I can deal with a smaller one, no problem.
wow wow wow wow
So… they say, when it rains… it pours…
no joke.
Yesterday when I got home I saw a big freakin orange sticker on my car window… knowing thats never a good thing I went to find out what I did that was wrong this time… all it said was ‘this car is considered abandon and if not removed within 72 hours it’ll be takin away’ I was pissed…...
Feeling terrible.
Well, everyone I know has been getting sick..
it was only a matter of time for me I guess…
:( I hate having to take time off work… or loosing time… but I cant let any of the residents get sick b/c of me…
I might go in later… get my paper-work done and my ordering… and then go back to bed. :/
Going to bed...
Cooled off a little I guess… realizing how crazy I was being.. saw he went to bed… went to join him… to find I’ve been locked out of my own room.
Makes me happy. ya, know.
The bed in the guest room is better anyways… glad I got my pillows when I did.
*sighs* This will all blow over in the morning I’m sure.
until then.. Goodnight.
pissed off
why cant I ever just win? He knows we were just joking around with each other tonight and he has to get pissed off and break my shit just b/c I won in a ‘play’ fight we were having. …here it was…
He put his drink on my bare foot to joke w/ me and make my foot cold.
I asked for a drink after he sat down with his *on purpose, he knows that.. I just like to be a pest...
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because...
progress
So we have the arcade up and running… I beat the game last night actually.. only one gun works on player 1, the other is rusted out… player 2’s gun shoots but only at the uppermost right corner, we have to figure out how to get it to realize when we are aiming the lazer on different places on the screen…and I’m not sure whats going on with player 3’s gun.....
In war everyone is sharpened, hardened by enduring battle after battle without relief… Double-edged, I am a sword. Sharpened by many wars, yet in friction I am not heated… I am cool to the touch. I am no long fazed, no longer affected by the constant strain of war. My frame stronger, battle fatigue… a distant memory, but my opponents are losing shape. Soon it becomes difficult to...
Now the proud owner of....
3 arcade machines… well, not really… we bought 3 today but luckly we are only keeping 1 and our buddy is buying the other 2…
lol, how I’m going to unlode this thing… is something on a whole different level.
we also have to deliver it to our buddy in Greencastle… so yeah, the white truck with 2 arcades in the back… thats me…
do we know how to...
update on wallet...
So my neighbor across from me said her daughter saw my wallet on the ground but didnt grab it b/c she thought it belonged to the people upstairs since they were outside at the time…
in other words… the people upstairs have my wallet… and havent come clean about it.
the neighbor lady said they arent honest.
F*#@!!!
I just need my freakin ID! I’m serious… I dont...
Sunday... *yesterday*
So, I lost my wallet…. yeah… bank card, ID (which was like one of the very few good pics I had of myself… I know, on my ID… weird.) and $20 w/ some change…
But I could have only lost it in the car, in our drive way or in the apartment (which is never ever messy)…. well, I’ve searched everywhere…(and the place is a little messy now I guess) so more...
Yesterday
So I finally got a car… yay me.. I just need to save up for the fee for the title change, licence plate, insurance… get my licence… but all of that wont be too bad now that I finally have a car!!! ~Sorry, guess I just cant say that enough… but really… if you were almost 21 and never had a car or any of those things… you would be this excited too I bet.
I also...
I feel like
I’m the only one trying…
I hate it when I already know the ending.
Doing some re-thinking and trying to be...
Life gives us so many choices—different paths to take, different people to befriend, different shampoos to use. Every choice requires a certain leap of faith. If you take the wrong path, you might get lost. If you befriend the wrong person, you might get abused. If you use the wrong shampoo, you might get dandruff. If you take the right path, you find a reward of some type or sort, whether...
Rambling
I sometimes feel very alone. We all do at times. It’s inevitable and it’s normal. When it happens to me, I can’t seem to touch the loneliness. It’s just one of those beautiful things that will surround my entire being…….the chatter, the presence of others…..it will still cause my heart to ache. I just sit there when it happens, sometimes staring off into...
Like it was nothing.
To approach her
with too much ease
To speak to her
like it was nothing
To touch her
without any meaning
To hold her
while thinking of other things
or worse
another girl
Does he not know
what he is missing
Does he not see
what stands before him
Does he not feel
the power
within her presence
Radiating from her skin
Has he forgotten
her value
Has he forgotten
her strength
Does...
Home for the weekend...
I guess all in all I have no big plans for the weekend… just another weird/lonely night in the apartment… My mom is bringing me a bed from home so perhaps the spare room will become mine… kind of strange but we cant break the lease.. I hope things get better… I really do. I’m trying to be okay today/tonight… but I cried so hard last night I dont think I could if...
last night
I cried my heart out to him… sure I may have held back a little but I keep trying and trying and trying to get him to hear me… that I may not be able to stay in this relationship and its killing me….5 years together ruined b/c we now live together… maybe marriage someday would be a mistake. No fairytale ending for me I guess but I guess that isnt for everybody.
someone...
Am I searching for love?
Am I Searching For Love?
Have you ever fell in love? Have you ever felt longing for someone whom you don’t know? Have you missed someone whom you never with? Lastly had you loved someone without knowing? Writing this literary I am in a feeling that I can’t really understand what it is, I am really confused in a way that I feel incomplete, restlessness bothers me. I can’t sleep at night,...
Long day, long life.
Sometimes I feel a little jealous inside,imagining someone can please you more than me.I guess its just my insecurities acting up a bit.Because I know I’m not the most beautiful,most fun, or even the most exciting person you’ll ever meet.
Some days… I wish we didnt move in together. We’ve lost ‘it’. Things are so much different now… . I get more and more depressed...
uggh.
I was supposed to be happy when I got a car…
I’m going to be 21 this year… and I still dont have a car or licence. There was always talk when my meemaw was alive that she was going to give me her car or I was going to buy it off her… but she just couldnt ever give it up to me… probably b/c she was hoping to get better and be able to leave the nursing home to live on...
July 2009
5 posts
poisoned
So I went to Metal Mayhem and had an awesome time!! I got to see some really good friends and got a really bad sun burn… well, I guess thats the butt end of my day b/c now I’m going crazy from this really bad headache… not to mention when me and my boyfriend were just horsing around the apartment, I poked him in the stomach and when he bent over his head hit my nose at full force...
Stressful
So things at work just seem to keep getting worse… tomorrow I have to put my foot down. I talked to my boss and she told me I have to just tell everyone in my department to basically shutup b/c all the ‘sides’ people are taking is just not going to work. At least I have her approval. I’ve become too much of a friend with some and not very much of a boss… I’m...
No title
So, I’ve decided this site is going to be used for the less cryptic side of me… myspace is mainly my writing site and I dont do much of anything else with the other sites I’m on but on Tumblr I think I’m just going to talk… probably about nothing most days just kind of what all happened *if anything*.
Yesterday I saw Transformers for the first time… awesome. I...
First post
So I’m in search of something different… I have like 2 or more myspace accounts… that got boring, a facebook, a twitter, something else… ugggh, either way.. I just cant find someone interesting to connect with. I work a lot, so I dont have a lot of free time to go out or stay up late but I dont want to isolate myself from others completely because of that.
A little about...
